DEFINITIONS by AMBROSE BIERCE
                            Devil's Dictionary
               
Abstainer:  "A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying
             himself a pleasure"  

Consult:   "To seek another's approval of a course already decided on"

Dentist:   "A prestidigitator who, while putting metal in your mouth,
            pulls coins from your pocket"

Discussion: "A method of confirming others in their errors"

Fiddle:    "An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's
            tail on the entrails of a cat"
               
Fork:     "An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead
           animals into the mouth"   


Impartial: "Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from
            espousing either side of a controversy or adopting either of
            two conflicting opinions"      
  
Interpreter: "One who enables two persons of different languages to
             understand each other by repeating to each what it would
             have been to the interpreter's advantage for the other to
             have said"

Lawyer:    "One skilled in circumvention of the law"

Philosophy: "A route of many roads from nowhere to nothing"

Pray:      "To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of
            a single petitioner confessedly unworthy"    

Reconsider: "To seek a justification for a decision already made"

Quotation:  "The act of repeating erroneously the words of another"